Racists hate themselves. It is plain to see that I can only do to another what I have first done – psychologically speaking – to myself.
To hate you for your race, I first have to empty out my self-esteem. So much so that my only remaining life raft of self-acceptance is pinned to the flimsy veneer that is the shade of my skin.
The more I hate on you, the more I run away from myself, from self-love. The more I run from self-love, the more I loathe myself, and so the more compelled I feel to hate on you. If I could just outrun myself in the act of hurting you, I might finally have peace.
But the only way to outrun oneself is death. Hence the racist may be tempted to escalate to the point of violence. Secretly, they hope they will be killed. Racism is the mangled expression of a death wish.
Who profits from this death wish? The profiteers of course, that tiny economic elite. They’re so afraid. But they’re much better at manipulating their fear than the typical racist is. They know how to control the fight/flight reactions of millions of racists, each of them enslaved to self-hatred.
This is why racists need to say things like ‘all lives matter,’ or ‘but white people face racism too!’ They know firsthand how much they hate themselves. They know firsthand how little they themselves believe their lives matter. But they are dishonest with themselves about it. So instead of wanting to elevate themselves they would rather drag everyone else down to their level of misery.
This is why racists will never be Heathen, even the ones that claim to be Heathen. Heathenry doesn’t work without the bonds of love – of self, of family, of friends, of ancestors, of spirits, you name it. Racism is a love vacuum, a superficial layer over a yawning chasm. A chasm that will never be filled by more of the very thinking and behavior that fuels it. Racists are in a no-win battle with their own self-hatred.
Now I’ll be first to say that, though I might wish better for them, people are certainly entitled to hate themselves if they want to. The problem is when they are dishonest or ignorant, and as a result choose to lash out at others. The problem is when they conjure specters of evil as a justification for sinking to even worse, actual, expressions of ill doing. That is contemptible. Racists, deep down, know that their stance is contemptible, but they run from that knowledge too, caught in a vicious cycle, projecting disowned self-hatred onto whoever they judge to be ‘other.’
Racism is a cowardly practice, a dedicated running away from oneself. If only racists were to give themselves even one breath of compassion. They might discover they like themselves. They might discover the world is far more beautiful than they ever dared imagine. They might rise up and overthrow the cynics that continue to manipulate and control them. They might learn how to laugh honest, buoyant, delighted laughter.
They might find their way back to being human.
